Childs TV addiction

by A
(USA)

I can't get my kindergartener to do anything except watch Power Rangers! He's obsessed and has no interest in anything else. What should I do?

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Shirley's Answer to Childs TV Addiction

You have to tell your child that you are the parent and you know what is best for him and that too much of anything, especially entertainment on a screen is not good for him.

I often tell my kids that because I love them I sometimes have to be a seemingly 'mean mom' and NOT allow them to do exactly what they want all the time, because I know better.

I think if my kids had total freedom, they'd spent most of their day playing pc games, but I insist that they go outside and play. I take them to the park nearby, and we make sure there are other alternatives for them at home, if they choose.

If a child says s/he is bored, then actually they are ungrateful for all that they have and I tell them that. Then I suggest that I find them some work (chores) instead and usually they then choose to entertain themselves very quickly!

Being a parent means we have to make decisions that don't always please our children. We have to say NO. This gives them security as they see that we are taking leadership.

Some parents battle to say no as they want their child's approval to make themselves feel good, but this is immature parenting that will make the child feel insecure and that child will push the boundaries more and more and become more and more of a troubled child.

I've watched a child of people we know do this since age 3. She had no bedtime, could watch all age movies with the parents on TV, play pc games as much as she liked etc. If there was some new thing she wanted and her mom said, "No" she would just nag and nag and nag and eventually her mother would buy it for her... and in her teens she ended up on drugs and prosituting herself to get them. Thankfully after about 5 years of misery, 6 months in rehab 'saved' her but I think the permissive parenting had a lot to do with her choices.

Some of us are too harsh and controlling with our kids and some of us are too permissive and scared of the tantrum our kid will throw if we say NO - which is absolute manipulation, but we HAVE to find the middle of the road and learn to firmly set boundaries and lovingly enforce them.

Like I've said before, we all start off as amateurs and personally I think we would be wise to invest in some good parenting books to guide us along the way, especially if we haven't had good role models ourselves.