Toddler Training

by Vani
(India)

I have a toddler who is 1.10 yr old. He goes to daycare Mon-Fri and is with me on Saturday and Sunday

I am looking for fun ways to entertain and teach my child. For now he likes his toys (cars/bus etc.) and plays with them. I show him a lot of rhymes on You Tube and recently got him some books, very colorful ones.

I am unable to read him the stories since he is very impatient but he loves the colors and vehicles on the books.

Also, I am looking for options how to discipline him. He poured water over my laptop over the weekend and I am not sure my scoldings reached him.

I want to know how to raise a disciplined child.

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Shirley's Answer to Toddler Training

If your child is attending preschool during the week, I would encourage you just to spend time enjoying each other's company and building on your emotional attachment during the week-end by doing fun things together.

Don't focus too much on learning activities at this very young age. There is still a lot of time for that in the years ahead and it sounds as if you have provided a stimulating learning environment for your child to grow in, so now allow him the FREEDOM to choose what he wants to do.

They say that "PLAY IS THE WORK OF CHILDHOOD"... so give your child lots of freedom to play during this short time of childhood. Once its gone, its gone forever! He can't get it back.

I would suggest that you read this article and the articles listed at the end of it: Relaxed Preschool Homeschooling.

Toddler Discipline

Toddlers are naturally adventurous and out to explore the world around them. However, they don't have the knowledge and experience that we have about the things they should and shouldn't do, so they unintentionally do things that we regard as naughty - like pouring water on your laptop!

This is where we have to discipline our toddlers by teaching and training them. It is unfair to PUNISH a child if he didn't know that what he was doing was wrong.

However, if a child shows that he is being rebellious, or deliberately naughty in some way, THEN it would be wise to enforce some or other appropriate consequence.

I have heard it said we should punish the 3 D's - Disobedience, Disrespect and Deliberate Destructiveness. That may be a useful guide as to how to respond to a child's actions.

My mother always says that, "Children naturally do naughty things," because they are childish and foolish. These things often frustrate us and show us our own shortcomings - such as selfishness, materialism and impatience.

These little children come and disrupt our orderly adult world: they mess up our stuff and disturb our peaceful existence.

We have to be GROWN UP or else GROW UP and learn to handle these episodes in a positive manner. It's not easy and we make mistakes along the way.

Sometimes we may be too harsh or sometimes we are inconsistent in how we respond or in how we enforce the boundaries we set for our children, but as long as we are BIG enough to admit to our children when we were wrong and give them the consistent love and security that they need, things should turn out alright in the end.

..but we begin this role of parenting as amateurs - that's a scary thought when you think that you are shaping a child's character and a child's life.

I have found the books listed below to be among the best of many that I have read on parenting. They are written from a Christian point of view, but I am sure that no matter your religion, the principles of love and grace can be applied.

The books are not about religion, but about avoiding destructive behaviour in relationships while we discipline and train our children.

Each one of these has really helped me to grow in the way I parent my children, instead of just resorting to the 'default' pattern of

1.child's action
2. my reaction
3. punishment

..which can be a more destructive than constructive pattern, especially if it is over-used!

We have to learn to understand our children's needs, respond to their actions appropriately and reach their hearts if we want to train them effectively.

I truly believe that just like we invest time and money in our career training, we should also invest in our own parenting education! The value and benefit to our children will be priceless.